It has been exactly a week since I got home. I have caught up with
several friends since arriving and have been asked whether I am happy to
be back. A no brainer. With no hesitation, I answer absolutely. I have
been describing the feeling as coming back to a place that you know so
well but seeing everything with a fresh pair of eyes - literally!
I
came back here to Sydney with "Laser" eyes. I have disposed of my
contact lenses, given my left over solutions to my sister-in-law and
have donated my spectacle frames to my Mum. I am still awed at how a
process that takes less than half a hour can be so life changing! I
continuously find myself testing my eyesight to see how far and clear I
can truly see. I am amazed!
Friends have also been asking me what
my plans are. The cliff notes answer to that question is "I really am
not sure, I will just have to wait". Of course there are a number of "I
hope to" and "Ideally, I would like". However, it ends there. I have
spent the last 11 years soaring, flying, chasing my dreams, ensuring
that each item on my to-do list was being achieved. I do not regret any
single second of my last 11 years. I have grown, learned, achieved,
failed, loved, questioned, amongst others. I know that I truly lived!
However, I have also learned that I am not in control of my life and my
future. Only God is.
So with my fresh pair of eyes, I am coming
home to Sydney with also a fresh heart. A fresh heart with so much hope
and faith for what is ahead, in God and what else He has planned for me.
I am done chasing. I am done driving. I am done telling God what needed
to be done. I am overconfident that God knows what is best for me. I am
overconfident that He listens to my prayers. I am overconfident that we
are still on speed dial basis.
This is not to say that I have
stopped dreaming. I still whisper to God what my heart hopes for. He
knows each thought and dream that passes through my heart and mind.
However, it is no longer about what I want, but rather what He wants.
As
I begin this new chapter in The Beautiful Life of Jo (one day I will
write it!), I am grateful for the opportunity. I am grateful for all the
lessons learned. I am grateful for the the new beginning. I am grateful
for the fresh pair of eyes and for the fresh hope in my heart.
I truly can see clearly now....
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