Thursday 21 June 2012

What do you think?

Tim at 2 years and 6 months old
Noah at 2 years and 2 months old

....except for the almond asian eyes, Tim and I think that that the apple does not fall too far from the tree!

Do you agree?

Wednesday 20 June 2012

Hello New Year! - Written December 28, 2006

I often compare my journey in life to a reading a book... Full of beginnings, stories, twists and turns, and endings. Sometimes, the chapter is progressively exciting...Other times, the chapter is almost painfully exhausting to read through...The only thing I am guaranteed is that chapters do end, and chapters do begin again.... with the hope of a really good ending (No anti-climatic endings for me, thanks! Hahaha) in store.

I love this time of the year...when one year is almost at an end and the sight of the New Year is starting to present itself. It is almost like seeing the loose ends of a chapter get tied up, and the thought of a new idea for a new beginning being implanted in our heads.

The Chapter 2006 of my Journey is about to end. Life, whether good or bad is like reading a chapter. It is all relative. To some people, my 2006 would have been stellar - the birth of my niece, my brothers wedding, a trip home to Sydney, lots of travels, including to exotic places, lots of visits from wonderful wonderful friends and family and some very very good friendships made, renewed and rekindled. At the same time, my 2006 was not exactly the best chapter ever written...spending almost a year mending a broken heart, standing at a crossroad and having no intuition of which path should be taken, dating almost 5million men (okay, I am exaggerating, but God knows I met enough men this year) and wondering why not one of them is the man God intends for me....ahhhh.. the wonderful learning curves that we all need to go through!

As I am about to say Hello to Chapter 2007, I can only hope and have faith in the Author and His works. He knows exactly what He is writing where He wants to take the story line. He knows the characters, what is best for the characters and where the story is suppose to go.

I, as the reader, can only look forward to and enjoy what the next chapter might bring, knowing full well that the Author has written that chapter (and previous chapters) for a certain purpose that will He will later unfold.

Happy 2007 everyone!

Wishing all of us  a wonderful wonderful journey ahead.

Christmas Traditions - Written December 25, 2006

Some of my best childhood memories were made during Christmas when I was a little girl in Manila. At Sundown on Christmas eve, I would put on newly bought clothes, then our whole family would make our way to Fiesta Carnival, before heading to my maternal grandparent's home for an evening of festivities. There, I would see my cousins, exchange gifts, eat noche buena before heading to the local church for midnight mass. After mass we would head home with our car loaded full of presents, then I would run very quickly to see what Santa had stuffed inside the Sock (did not have Stockings then!)that I had taped to my door! On Christmas day, we would once again go to mass, head to my paternal grandparent's home for another feast, exchange gifts, then head out and drive to my parent's relatives' homes so that we could make "pamasko".

When we moved to Sydney, tradition changed a wee bit. We would still go to midnight mass in our new outfits, then head home and eat our noche buena and exchange presents. However Christmas Day equated to the family going to the beach.

When I left Sydney about 10 years ago to "spread my wings", little did I realise that I was going to lose the tradition that I had learned to attach with Christmas.

Christmas 2001 was my first Christmas ever without the family and not being in Manila. I found myself in New Jersey with some wonderful friends who did not hesitate to adopt me. I joined their family celebrations and their traditions. They opened their home and hearts to me. I am forever grateful.

Christmas 2002 was a busy one! I drove up with my cousin and her family to New York (thank you insan!) to spend Christmas eve with relatives. They gave me a Christmas before I headed out to London to spend the rest of the Holiday Season with my brother.

Christmas 2003 was spent in San Francisco. My cousin and I met my brother in SFO to spend the Holidays with my Aunt her family. Tradition was very far from me when I found myself sleeping in the airport whilst on transit since I missed my flight due to delays.

Christmas 2004 was my first Christmas in town. I will forever remember that Christmas since it was the first time I went to Christmas eve mass on my own. I think that was the first time I realised how far away I was from my family.

Last Christmas, I flew to Toronto. I needed to be with a friend during the Holidays.I did not need the tradition of the Season but instead I needed someone to see me through. It was a perfect Christmas.

Christmas 2006 - one I was definitely dreading. Obviously I have replaced being with family, having noche buena and seeing what Santa might have brought along with the tradition of escaping during Christmas.

This year, I knew I could not keep my yearly tradition. I was stuck!

Either way, not having the tradition with my family nor the tradition of escaping did not deter from Christmas working its magic this year.

Christmas eve was spent having lunch with a girlfriend and her baby boy at IHOP (yupl IHOP!) That was a beautiful gift from God. Sharing, talking and just being with them continued to attest how truly amazing God and His work is.

I managed to have Noche buena with a friend whose family continuously adopts me, before heading off to midnite mass to meet my cousin and her friend.

Tradition was certainly different this year, but nonetheless Christ's presence was still there.. being with friends, making it to midnite mass, getting parking, getting seats, getting home in one piece, being able to speak with my family in Sydney before heading to sleep...

I wonder what is in store for Christmas 2007???

I think that it might be time to start a new tradition.....

The Best Woman....- Written October 24, 2006

My baby Brother got married last Saturday. He asked me to be his Best Woman. What a trip! I did not have to wear a Tux, nor organise his Bucks Night Party (thanks to the Man of Honour), but I did have to say a speech, which I want to share below....

Hi Everyone!

I don't know how many Best Women there have been, but I am very grateful and proud that Charles asked me to stand with him today on his very special day.

I have been thinking a lot the last couple of days of what I wanted to share tonight. Shall I go all serious, but I figured that I am unmarried, and do not have the right nor the experience to be giving marital advise. Shall I go all silly and funny and share what happens to Charles when Tequila shares a night with him - Just ask the Man of Honour Joe, who organised the Bucks Party what really happened! However, I figured that this is my only chance to share with you just how special Charles is to me...so I figured Nice, I will keep this Nice.

My brother and I have always been close, despite the distance between us. I think that growing up with just one sibling, you either end up being really close or not. I am lucky that ours in on the better end.

There is a 4 and a half year gap between us. Growing up, we definitely felt the gap. We drove each other crazy. Our favourite past time was to fight, whether he gets to watch Inspector Gadget or I get to watch Neighbours. We would fight continuously until someone would start crying. With typical siblings, usually the non crier wins and gets to watch the their tv show. However with us, one person crying usually leads to the other person crying too...until we would both be bawling, no longer caring about which tv show to watch. Instead, trying to work out why we make each other cry in the first place, when we hate seeing each other upset.

Charles might be 6ft tall and 6ft wide, but he is definitely a sensitive, new age man - or a cry baby. Did you see how his eyes teared up when he saw his bride coming down the aisle this afternoon?
Charles has always been the nicer child. His friendly face, easy demeanour and helpful attitude always won him friends. My Chef at work in DC continues to ask about him, even exchanging emails, despite having met only a couple of times.

Growing up, I always admired Charles' business minded skills. He was selling our mother's home made spring rolls to his school mates as early as 7 years old, and getting the whole family to do a newspaper delivery around our area on weekends - making it a family affair, with him pocketing all the money!

Today, Charles and I are the best of friends. He has always been my travel buddy, starting from our first trip without Mum and Dad to Jakarta, when we were both very young to our last trip to Tijuana last year.  He is my sports coach - being tennis and golf buddies, as well as buddies on the slopes - We tried to snowboard together my first Blue run mountain, where he continuously made me believe that I was good enough until I had to take the lift all by myself to get down as the snow patrol told us our tandem was failing miserably. He is my gimik buddy - with all my friends quickly becoming his friends. He is my shopping buddy - outlets always have to be a part of our itinerary wherever we go - Bambi, you definitely got yourself a bargain hunter here. He is my eating buddy - then always telling each other that we need to diet. He is my rock and my confidante. He continues to be my voice of reason. Oftentimes, I feel that he is older than me, wise with his thoughts and positive with his energy. His maturity and smartness amazes me. It's funny. I need to learn the hard way. He learns the easy way..Yet end result, here he is with a lovely wife, a beautiful daughter and nothing else to ask for.

I have been privy to the Charles and Bambi relationship. I have seen them during the time in their relationship when they could not get enough of each other - circa Mid 1990's Fat willys days - and I have seen them during their difficult moments too, when I would continuously wonder whether they really should be together or not.

I am so happy and proud that they have finally found a place in their relationship where they have both realised what each other's worth is.

Bambi, Thank you so much for your patience with Charlie and your patience with me. I know that our relationship has been a rollercoaster ride. I look forward to becoming better friends and better siblings. Thank you for loving my brother a lot. I know that you are going to take care of him to the best of your ability. Keep making him laugh and keep taking on new adventures with him. Best of luck with his kakulitan. Take it with a grain of salt and remember that it is part of his charm.

Charlie, I am sooooo happy to see you soooo happy. I see it in your face and in your actions.
Becoming a Dad to Isabel and a husband to Bambi was certainly unexpected but I have never seen pure joy in your face. It is almost as if I am seeing you find home. You are exactly where you are suppose to be.

Guys, watching your relationship unfold is truly a testament that God has a plan for each of us, much much better than what we could hope for or expect.I hope that you will remember that despite the unconventional path that you have taken, what you have is truly a gift from God. Treasure it and make the most out of it.

May your love for each other grow stronger each day.

May the best days of your past be the worst days of your future.

Take care of each other.

I love you both and congratulations.

The gift of a new life, a new angel...- Written March 30, 2006

I have always believed in angels. I believe that God sends His angels thru our family and friends. Every single person that has crossed paths with me has been some form of an angel... holding my hand, bringing me hope, making me laugh, guiding and guarding me.

Recently, I have realised that God sends His angels thru the new lives that He surrounds us with.
Our family has recently been blessed with a new angel. She is almost 2months old. Her name is Isabel Anne.

It is amazing how much Isabel has brought new life to our family.  Living away from my family, I have not personally witnessed this little girl's magic. I have yet to meet her. However, telephone conversations, emails and any form of communication between myself, my parents and my brother continue to be a litany of testaments of how special she is.

Isabel brought back Charles and Rose together. I think that this time last year, my brother was thinking of where his next adventure in life ought to be. Little did Charles expect that his new adventure would include changing nappies, sleepless nights and taking Isabel for nightly walks with Rose around the neighbourhood. Her unexpected arrival continues to lead me to believe that we are not in control of our lives. Only God is.

The nicest part is that just this afternoon, my brother told me how happy he truly is with what he has and where he is.

Isabel has also touched my father's heart. I had never thought of my father to be a doting grandfather, but he now is. My mum tells me how my dad will go home early once he finds out that the little angel is visiting them, and how disappointed he would be if they miss each other. My brother and his family now visit my parents on Sundays. I have been told that my father no longer schedules any golf games on Sundays and how he is the first one to take her and play with her. I have also been told that my father has volunteered to help take care of her once Charles and Rose go back to work. Our world has truly turned upside down!!!

As for the doting aunt who lives so far away, I am forever bugging my brother for photo updates. I find myself looking at her photos again and again, albeit the same one. I can honestly say that I feel love in my heart for this little baby. She continues to show me that unconditional love truly exists, to continue to trust in God's will and how beautiful Gods work is.

I can bet any money that almost each new baby has been referred to as an angel.  Maybe it is their innocence, their gift of love and hope and their purity which bring such amazing powers into our lives.

How do they know exactly how to touch our hearts?

Tuesday 19 June 2012

Expect......Written March 11, 2006

the unexpected....

My friend Pia and I had tickets to see Michael Buble two Friday's ago. She is not all that familiar with his work, and I am barely.... I love his original hit "Home" and all the covers that he has done. We went to the show, not expecting very much from him...... To our surprise, this guy, who is probably younger than we are, literally rocked the Constitution Hall. His voice was amazing. His acts/dancing were interesting and his band made every one wish that Big Bands were still in fashion. Michael Buble truly amazed us! He had every person (male included!!!) in the house literally fall in love with him. By the end of the evening - I officially nominated him as my unofficial boyfriend, and Pia ended up purchasing his 2 cd's!

Last night, it was Earth, Wind and Fire's turn to play at the Constitution Hall. Amidst trying to see whether we could get tickets to their show, Pia's friend mentions that he knows someone who knows EWF. He would make a phone call. Pia called me mid last week, telling me the great news that we will get to watch EWF.  I was definitely excited, but did not want to expect too much. I told friends that I think I was going to see EWF, but would not confirm it until I was inside singing to September and bopping to Fantasy!

Lo and behold, not only did we watch EWF, we had 3rd row, centre aisle seats, and we had an all access pass to go and see the guys backstage! Wow! What an unexpected treat!!!
Expectations.... can make or brake us. It can make or break relationships, situations and our own personas. Expect too much, and you might be disappointed and expect nothing, you may be nicely surprised.

I have been thinking about Expectations lately. I wonder whether it would be better for me to lower my expectations, not expect too much, and then be knocked off my feet. However, at the same time, if I started to expect nothing from relationships, situations and myself, how do I know that I am not just settling for left overs?!

No. - Written March 4, 2006

No.

A simple two letter word. Supposedly.

We usually learn to say this word as young children. We hear enough of it from the adults around us growing up. No means not having that extra sugar in the evening. No means not staying past our bedtime. No means not getting that pink jeans that all the coolest girls in class have.

As children, we also learn quickly to become comfortable with this word. We were quick to say No to brushing our teeth. We were quick to say No to eating our vegetables. We were quick to say No when we are asked to do our homework.

Somehow, as we start to become adults, the level of comfort with the simple, one syllable word thins out. All of a sudden, the word means disappointment. It means hurt. It means inability and rejection.

For such a simple word, so much emotion is depicted.

No is no longer simple.

As I grow older, I am not sure whether I should stop believing that No remains to be that simple word we were all once so comfortable with.

Today, I say No because I cannot. I say No because I am not comfortable, or I simply do not want to. Face value. It does not mean I care any less! I just merely know what my capabilities and weaknesses are.

Experience is slowly teaching me that as I grow older, No becomes a whole different language that I need to decipher. Silence has replaced No.  Maybe has replaced No. Ignorance has replaced No. Somehow, it is easier to act rather just utter a two letter word.

I wonder at what stage in our lives did we start becoming uncomfortable with this word....both hearing it and saying it. When did we start losing our capability to articulate to each other our thoughts? When did we start losing our capability to understand each other and accept each other, without any emotional judgement involved?

I am hoping that, as adults, we can all find that level of comfort once again that we had as children. I am hoping that a gracious "No, Thank you", "No, I would rather not", "Thanks, but No thanks" or "Sorry, not for me" would soon be the language that we all speak, understand and accept. Face value.
Maybe, one day, as adults, we will learn to stop complicating something so simple.

Blessings – Written February 26, 2006

I was born a Blessed Child – the first born, the first grandchild on my paternal side and the first girl grandchild on my maternal side. My childhood is filled with happy memories – filled with the love and attention of my parents, my yaya, my grandparents, aunts and uncles….
Fast forward 33 years…. I am a Blessed Child.

I have not always counted the Blessings in my life, choosing instead to look at what I do not have, what I still need to achieve and where I still needed to go. I took the love, support and encouragement that I have always received forgranted.  Figure entitlement. Figure part of the package. Figure it was just always there and will always be there.

For the most part of my life, I was able to do the things that I wanted to do. I travelled, lived overseas, ran a Restaurant, played with family and friends, played Golf, picked up Diving, relocated to a new country, got a fabulous Career, bought my own place and have become self sufficient. To most people, I could not ask for more.

However, being the human being that I am, I wanted more…. I wanted everything….. specifically the thing that was missing in my life… a solid relationship…onwards to marriage. Being the focused, strongminded and hardworking person that I am… all of my energy was focused on making my relationship work. I was determined….not realising that I have stopped counting my blessings, but instead equated blessings with how the relationship fared.

The relationship ended several months ago.

I would never wish a heartbreak upon anyone. However, cliche as it is, when God closes a door on you, He does leave a window opened.

Since letting go of the relationship, I have started to find myself again and maybe see my blessings again. I have travelled once again. I started to play with family and friends again, and really enjoy it wholeheartedly. I have gained a beautiful niece who supposedly is born a carbon copy of me. I have started to see and feel the love of my family and friends once again…. and it is only February. I can only imagine what else might be ahead.

Today, I no longer want to see it as entitlement. I choose to see it as a gift….and I know that I have received so much. I also know that I will continue to be blessed, not as how I choose but as how God chooses.

I may or may not be blessed with what I still do not have in my life…. It no longer matters. Anything beyond what I already have is just icing on my already decadent cake.

I truly am a Blessed Child.

Friday 1 June 2012

Children are so clued up!

Ever since Noah could communicate with us, my Mum would constantly say "parang nakakaintindi" which translated means "as if he understands".

At a very early age, Noah delighted us all by following our instructions. Pick up the ball, Hand the toy to Mummy, Say night night - pretty much anything that we "challenged" him to, he delivered (of course we always gave him plenty of slack!).  I would constantly tell my Mum that Noah does understand, that despite being a baby, he knows exactly what we are asking of him.

I was reminded of this on the weekend.

Tim and I have been having more than our fair share of arguments lately. Well, technically it's me picking on him! Call it the lack of sleep or the wee 6 week old continuously hanging off my boobs or the 2 year old toddler testing my patience...my poor husband has been on the receiving end of my impatience and irritability. Bless his heart!

The weekend was no different. Once again, my fuse was short and I picked a fight. We were in the car on our way somewhere when this happened. What made me stop in my tracks (and if you know me well enough, you know the old Jo can be very unforgiving and righteous) was when Noah started crying. Amidst our argument, the little man in the backseat was crying...as if to say Stop arguing!

I was humbled! Does he really know? How? When did he start picking up on this?

I was taken back to my Mums words.

Maybe someone needs to remind me, as I remind my Mum that he does know. Noah does understand and part of it is him understanding when his parents are arguing.

I will forever have that thought in my mind. The next time I pick a fight with Tim in front of Noah, I will remind myself that he knows exactly what is going on. I am not planning on protecting my kids from the realities of life but God knows that if there is something that I can control to allow my children a better life experience, especially as a child, then I am going to do my darn best to do that.