Four-ty-five

Five years ago, when I turned the big four-oh, I wrote a piece about the 40 things I learned through my 30s. 

As I turn forty-five today, or in my mind, 36, I wanted to rehash what I wrote as I think that each of these points continue to be relevant to carry me through my next milestone - the golden decade!

To pay homage to my slight OCD-ness, I have added another five points at the end of my list.

Cake made with love by Tim, Noah and Eliza

Team Stentiford

So yesterday, I turned the big four - oh! Yikes! It seemed as if was just yesterday when I flew to the UK from DC to celebrate my 30th birthday with my brother as I did not want to be alone on my milestone birthday. My life has certainly changed in the last decade - and for the best.

I spent most of my 30's waiting...waiting to meet the man for me, waiting to have my own children, waiting to find inner peace. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be blessed so abundantly.

So as I turn a new decade, I want to share 40 things that I have learned in the last decade. It has been a massive learning experience for me as I transitioned from being completely selfish to someone who barely has time for herself these days (thank God for a husband who is very good at taking care of me).

I would like to think that my story is still being written, my picture is still being painted and the puzzles are still being put together.

I can only look forward to what the next decade has in store.

1. Life is how you make it! (Thanks Dad!!!)

2. Be grateful for what you have

3. Never compare

4. All in God's time

5. Children will drive you to drinking

6. Happy wife = happy life

7. Pray for a partner who makes you a better person

8. Its all about timing!

9. Never judge - you never know what goes on behind closed doors

10. Prayers work

11. I will never be a size 8 -the sooner I accepted my body size, the sooner I became at peace with myself

12. Housework will never end

13. Marriage is a verb

14. Parenthood is like riding a roller coaster ride

15. Children can bring you so much life but also suck the life out of you

16.  Food and lifestyle choices do impact your body

17. Appreciate your parents -  they are/were trying to do their best

18. Traveling opens the mind

19. Pick your battles

20. Social media is here to stay

21. Why worry about things you have no control of (Thanks Lolo Maneng!!!)

22. Take care of your teeth - especially when you are young

23. The best gifts my parents gave me - Love, Support and Opportunities

24.  Does it really matter?

25.  Happiness really is a choice

26.  Know your body shape and find your style

27. Everything has a cost

28. Sometimes the cheapest option is not the best

29. Find a good hairdresser

30. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture

31. Grab opportunities

32. Listen to your intuition

33. Let go of your sense of entitlement

34. Pray for others

35. Try to be the best wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, niece, cousin etc. possible

36. Read washing labels, especially on dresses

37. Be happy for others - what comes around, goes around

38. You will never need everything you pack when going away

39. Ask for help, the world will never fail to surprise

40. Believe in someone/something greater than you
41. Teach your children to be proud of their heritage - they will be proud of it one day
42. Never underestimate a child's comprehension or ability
43. Reality tv fries your brains, but can be so addictive
44. Peace and quiet are worth its weight in gold
45. Family is everything

My 40th Birthday Card

Cause and effect!

I had been on Tim's case for me to work part-time ever since Noah started kindergarten. Working full-time meant that I missed out on a ridiculous amount of opportunities to spend time at Noah's primary school. Missed out on canteen duty, Tim was Noah's parent volunteer for literacy groups every Thursday morning and I always felt guilty about going to work late after attending a school mass or a morning assembly.

Tim and I agreed that we could potentially make it work for when Eliza started kindergarten. So just before Eliza started school, I started the negotiations at work to cut down to 3 days/week. It was not an easy process (and something I want to write about one day) but eventually I got what I wanted.

2017, Noah was in Year 2, Eliza started Kindergarten, and I was a part-timer. Yay! I threw myself in all things school: I volunteered in Eliza's classroom, a class parent for Noah's class, and put my hand up for the Fundraising committee- helping solicit donations for the big event! I was rocking my new gig.

January 2017

It was about early May last year when we started hearing potential Federal Education Funding changes. The Catholic Schools Office (CSO) wrote to us informing us of the Federal Government's proposed new school funding model, the Australian Education Amendment Bill 2017 which was going to change the way Catholic schools were being funded. The CSO alerted us that "regrettably" when the CSO committed to a fee increase of 3-5% in 2016, the CSO did not foresee that the incumbent Government would introduce a new Bill into parliament which would potentially have devastating consequences for the local Catholic schools within the Northern Beaches and the North Shore.

We were encouraged to write to our local MP (who happens to be Tony Abbott - whose children went to Noah and Eliza's school), other MP's, the Education Minister and to the Prime Minister. Online petitions and facebook groups were created to help lobby against the passing of this Bill. The CSO also held a number of parent forums.

We were informed that if the Bill is passed, it is anticipated that school fees would increase by at least 20%.

So between May and June, Tim and I spent a lot of time trying to understand what we were facing. We could not understand why the Broken Bay Diocese, which our school belonged to, was facing this massive hit when the rest of the Catholic schools that belonged in the Sydney or Parramatta Dioceses were not facing similar consequences.

We quickly learned that the CSO had autonomy on the distribution of funds received from the Government.  At times, more funding was given to a needier school. With the new Bill, funding will be distributed based on the socio-economic status (SES) of the individual school. This meant that a schools in our Diocese score a higher SES compared to our friends in the Parramatta Diocese. Higher SES means lower Federal funding resulting in increased school fees. This will mean that the CSO could no longer move funds around.  This also meant that the Bill will not discriminate between the individual families, their earning capacity and their life stories. We all know that just because we live where we live, does not mean we are all C-Suite, Porsche driving, Mortgage free families. Far from it!

Since we loved the school and the community, and the children were happy, we started writing our letters and getting our family and friends to get behind the petition.

Now, I am a very much a realist. I guess it helps me embrace change sooner rather than later. As soon as we had done what we needed to do, I knew that Tim and I started to think about the reality of the situation. Could we manage the increase in fees? Is it worth it? Do I need to go back to full-time work?

It was at this time that we started entertaining moving the children to our local public school.  We considered Forestville Public for Noah back in Kindergarten but since we were out of area,  we received our acceptance confirmation quite late. By that time, we were truly married to attending OLGC. So me being me, I phoned Forestville Public and made enquiries.

Tim and I are not really sure how much the CSO fought to stop the new Bill. While we were informed that our Bishop and the CSO were constantly in Canberra creating dialogue, no confidence was instilled in us. In fact, it was parents of other Catholic schools in the North Shore that were demanding meetings with the Education Minister. The sad truth is that Tim and I felt that the CSO left it all to the parents to fight. We felt that "our hands are tied" card was played.

It was 22nd June when the Senate passed the new Bill. It was shortly after that we met with the school principal of  Forestvile Public.

While the CSO has given a reprieve in substantial fee increases, Tim and I made the decision to move the children before the school year ended. We thought that if there was any chance of moving schools in the future, we would be better off moving them while they were still at Stage 1 of their learning journey.

It is sad to have said goodbye to a wonderful school community, especially when we had not expected nor planned it.  Causes which were out of our hands.  However we are grateful for the options available to us, making the effect to be as positive as possible. And it certainly has been!

Eliza's End of Year Presentation

Noah receives his class 'Aim High' Award

The gift of a new life - A new angel - written March 30, 2006

I have always believed in angels. I believe that God sends His angels thru our family and friends. Every single person that has crossed paths with me has been some form of an angel… holding my hand, bringing me hope, making me laugh, guiding and guarding me.

Recently, I have realised that God sends His angels thru the new lives that He surrounds us with.
Our family has recently been blessed with a new angel. She is almost 2months old. Her name is Isabel Anne.

It is amazing how much Isabel has brought new life to our family.  Living away from my family, I have not personally witnessed this little girl’s magic. I have yet to meet her. However, telephone conversations, emails and any form of communication between myself, my parents and my brother continue to be a litany of testaments of how special she is.

Isabel brought back Charles and Rose together. I think that this time last year, my brother was thinking of where his next adventure in life ought to be. Little did Charles expect that his new adventure would include changing nappies, sleepless nights and taking Isabel for nightly walks with Rose around the neighbourhood. Her unexpected arrival continues to lead me to believe that we are not in control of our lives. Only God is.

The nicest part is that just this afternoon, my brother told me how happy he truly is with what he has and where he is.

Isabel has also touched my father’s heart. I had never thought of my father to be a doting grandfather, but he now is. My mum tells me how my dad will go home early once he finds out that the little angel is visiting them, and how disappointed he would be if they miss each other. My brother and his family now visit my parents on Sundays. I have been told that my father no longer schedules any golf games on Sundays and how he is the first one to take her and play with her. I have also been told that my father has volunteered to help take care of her once Charles and Rose go back to work. Our world has truly turned upside down!!!

As for the doting aunt who lives so far away, I am forever bugging my brother for photo updates. I find myself looking at her photos again and again, albeit the same one. I can honestly say that I feel love in my heart for this little baby. She continues to show me that unconditional love truly exists, to continue to trust in God’s will and how beautiful Gods work is.

I can bet any money that almost each new baby has been referred to as an angel.  Maybe it is their innocence, their gift of love and hope and their purity which bring such amazing powers into our lives.

How do they know exactly how to touch our hearts?