When Dad speaks....

My Dad passed away a year ago tomorrow.
How fast does time fly?
This time last year, we were all saying our goodbyes to him.
I still count myself lucky to have had the opportunity to have said a proper goodbye.
One last hug. One last I love you.
For him.
For me.
 
No one warned me before my Dad passed how much life really changes.
I don't mean the every day stuff where he is no longer around for me to speak with to get some advice or how we now book for 10 people for family outings instead of 11.
There are no more updates from doctors appointments or which horse he would tip to win the Melbourne Cup.

No one warned me how family dynamics change when one parent dies.

Mum, Dad, my brother Chad and myself.

For those that know my family, they would know that one of my Mum's favourite pastime is to chat. She thrives on telling stories. She thrives on connecting with people.
She thrives on talking about her family, holidays and her bargains.
She can sit next to a complete stranger and can easily find common ground with them.
She is a talker.

As the perfect Yin to my Mum's Yang, my Dad said very little.
He was a man of very few words, often frustrating.
However when he spoke, one listened.

My Dad kept my Mum grounded.
While he encouraged and loved Mum for being herself, there were many times when he imparted that silence is golden.
For the most part, when Dad spoke, Mum listened.

When Dad passed, it became Mum, my brother Chad and myself.

A triangle instead of the even square.

Three pointy ends.

Over the course of the year, each of us have learned to manage our new shape.
As Mum learned to find her new norm which now include driving, managing her house and garden and managing technology, each of us have been bent out of shape.

While we aim for equilateral, more often than not, our family dynamics would be described more as isosceles or scalene.

This is okay as these days, this is how independent Mum has become:

• She is now hooning around Hornsby, proudly telling us that it now only takes her one go to reverse out of her driveway!
• She has quickly become Mrs Fixit, embarking on a few project upgrades around her house with the help of paid handymen.
• She has a weekly routine down pat, between seeing her friends,  staying with her sister and staying with either myself or at my brothers.
• She has been to Manila twice with another trip booked for early next year.

Mum is living her life to the fullest, exactly what my Dad said to her during his final days.

To this date, when Dad speaks, Mum listens.

Happy 1st year in heaven Pa.
Be confident that while you are physically no longer here with us, your soul and spirit lives in us.

We love and miss you.
Rest in peace.

Eliza bringing Lolo ice cream and a snowflake!