The big Four - Oh!

So yesterday, I turned the big four - oh! Yikes! It seemed as if was just yesterday when I flew to the UK from DC to celebrate my birthday with my brother as I did not want to be alone on my milestone birthday. My life has certainly changed in the last decade - and for the best.

I spent most of my 30's waiting...waiting to meet the man for me, waiting to have my own children, waiting to find inner peace. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be blessed so abundantly.

So as I turn a new decade, I want to share 40 things that I have learned in the last decade. It has been a massive learning experience for me as I transitioned from being completely selfish to someone who barely has time for herself these days (thank God for a husband who is very good at taking care of me).

I would like to think that my story is still being written, my picture is still being painted and the puzzles are still being put together.

I can only look forward to what the next decade has in store.

1. Life is how you make it! (Thanks Dad!!!)
2. Be grateful for what you have
3. Never compare
4. All in God's time
5. Children will drive you to drinking
6. Happy wife = happy life
7. Pray for a partner who makes you a better person
8. Its all about timing!
9. Never judge - you never know what goes on behind closed doors
10. Prayers work
11. I will never be a size 8 -the sooner I accepted my body size, the sooner I became at peace with myself
12. Housework will never end
13. Marriage is a verb
14. Parenthood is like riding a roller coaster ride
15. Children can bring you so much life but also suck the life out of you
16.  Food and lifestyle choices do impact your body
17. Appreciate your parents -  they are/were trying to do their best
18. Traveling opens the mind
19. Pick your battles
20. Social media is here to stay
21. Why worry about things you have no control of (Thanks Lolo Maneng!!!)
22. Take care of your teeth - especially when you are young
23. The best gifts my parents gave me - Love, Support and Opportunities
24.  Does it really matter?
25.  Happiness really is a choice
26.  Know your body shape and find your style
27. Everything has a cost
28. Sometimes the cheapest option is not the best
29. Find a good hairdresser
30. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture
31. Grab opportunities
32. Listen to your intuition
33. Let go of your sense of entitlement
34. Pray for others
35. Try to be the best wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, niece, cousin etc. possible
36. Read washing labels, especially on dresses
37. Be happy for others - what comes around, goes around
38. You will never need everything you pack when going away
39. Ask for help, the world will never fail to surprise
40. Believe in someone/something greater than you

Look at those lights, Mummy Daddy!

Amongst our family and friends, it is common knowledge that we hardly accept evening invitations. School nights are non negotiable especially now that I am working full time. Friday and Saturday nights are debatable.

We have been burnt and paid the price of throwing the children's routine out of whack. Getting to bed late does not mean that the kids will be sleeping in. Too often, they are awake at their regular hour of sometime between 5.30 - 6.30am, jumping up and down, ready to start their day. Tim and I, not quite.

Our cousin Patrick from Jakarta and his girlfriend Deborah are visiting Sydney this weekend. Since they are only staying for 5 days and are here for a wedding, their schedule is quite hectic. However, I was keen to see them and Tim was keen on meeting them. My brother organised our get together...for last night, a Friday night.

Since Chad had organised it to be somewhere quite close to us, we made an effort.

I made an effort to get out of work a bit earlier to catch the 4.45pm fast ferry. This gave me the chance to go with Tim to pick up the kids. When we got home, we quickly gave N & E a bath, packed the bags and got ourselves out of our home just after 6pm. Just as well N was cooperating so we were able to move quickly. Nothing like the promise of seeing his cousins as his bait to get a move on.

It was a lovely evening. We ended up at a different pub to where we originally intended to go as the other pub was jam-packed. I have completely forgotten what it was like to be out on a Friday night. The other pub was lovely though - a bit bigger so more space, not as hectic and a massive indoor playpark to boot.

N loved being out....Ate, a massive indoor playpark, pasta and meatballs...he was in heaven.
E, albeit very very tired, did not want to miss out. E kept awake the whole time we were at the pub despite it being way past her bedtime.

We stayed until almost 9pm. We knew we did not want to push our luck with the kids...besides Tim and I were quickly losing steam too.

On our drive home, both kids were still on a high. N was chatting non stop. Talking about the pub, the playpark, Ate, meatballs...Everything. All of a sudden, N started ooooohing and aaaaaaahing about the street lights. He started loudly observing the yellow lights on the lamp posts and was tickled pink at how many they were. We went through a dark freeway and N decided that we were going through a tunnel.

Very quickly Tim and I realised the novelty of being out a night for N. He was a complete novice with going home in the evening because he has never experienced it at an age where he can appreciate it (and that he is awake and have not fallen asleep during the ride). We quickly realised the effect of not taking them out! Who would have thought?

E with Patrick and Deborah

You are so much nicer these days!

this is Tim's exact line to me sometime last week...

...and I have to agree.

Tomorrow will mark my first month of working full time. Yey to me, Tim, Noah and Eliza for surviving our first month of full time work for both parents and full time daycare/Lolo&Lola for the children.

Tim and I are tired but oh so happy.

Tim is happy because I am happy.

I am happy because the children are happy.

Noah has happily settled back to his daycare room - seeing his carers and playing with his favourite friends, learning, being active, not seeming to mind that Mummy is now also working.

Eliza is happily settling into her new environment. Described by the teachers and staff as one of the happiest babies EVER, Eliza seems to have been ready for the stimulation and attention that she is now getting.

Having Lolo or Lola (my parents) come and stay with the children on Thursdays (their rest day from daycare) is also working out. The kids are enjoying their time at home and have started to look forward to having either Lolo or Lola over.

Tim and I are tired but oh so proud.

Tim had the opportunity to take care of both children on his own for a few days and as I have previously shared, I am so proud of him and his efforts. He managed to take both children out, not only to the aquarium but also to the zoo and he also started the routine of bathing the kids together, which we have discovered to make both kids so happy.

We are slowly getting used to our routine, which sees us starting our day at 5.30am. Tim is usually on his bike to work by 7.15am (ok, more like 7.30am!) and I am packing the kids into the car by 7.40am. Thank goodness that our daycare is no more than a 2 minute drive so we are usually in the rooms by 7.45am. First ones in!!!

Short of a dump-and-run, I am back in the car just before 8am, driving back home to park the car, then make my way to the ferry, aiming to get the 8.15am fast ferry.

Now I am not sure how long fast ferries have been operating but O.M.G. they are the best thing EVER. My commute to the city is no more than 20minutes and I am usually at my desk by 8.45am. Yey!

Now it has been way almost 3 years since I last worked full time but I am quickly remembering why I am a better mother when I am working. I am learning new things. I am being asked questions that I have to think for. I am having adult conversations - some about children, most not. I get a lunch break where I can browse at the shops and try things on. I am getting to tell Tim all about the things that I am learning. Who  knew employee engagement and productivity could be so exciting!

Tim does the afternoon pick ups so the children are usually having dinner when I get in. After a quick change in costume, my focus turn to the children, helping with dinner, bath and bedtime.

By 8.30pm, the steam is usually running out. A 9.00pm bedtime is a must these days.

With my days being so full,  who has time to nitpick every single thing that my husband does wrong?

Instead, I can only be grateful.

Grateful for such a supportive husband.
Grateful for such well adjusted children.
Grateful for grandparents who can help out.

Gratitude. That's probably why I am so much nicer these days!

I continue to be grateful...

Dear Lord,

As 2012 closes and the dawn of a new year arise, I want to say thank you. Thank you for once again painting another beautiful picture and for writing another beautiful chapter in my life. Ever since I completely surrendered to follow your lead, You have never failed to show me your presence and your gifts. Thank you.

Thank you for Tim, my handsome husband. He continues to make me a better mum and a better person. He constantly reminds me of looking at what I have rather than how difficult things may be. Thank you for choosing my life partner for me. I could not even begin to imagine journeying through parenthood with someone else.

Thank you for the gift of motherhood. It is the most exhausting, trying, and hardest journey I have ever embarked on but I am grateful that I have the opportunity to rear, care and love two beautiful children. Thank you for Noah and Eliza - my pigeon pair.

Thank you for my family. Thank you that I continue to like, love and enjoy my family. Thank you for keeping my parents healthy. Thank you for their eternal and unconditional love and support for us. Thank you that they still continue to enjoy providing for us - the food, the help, the advice. I am forever grateful that they have not had enough.

Thank you for Tim's family. Thank you for their continuous love and care, despite the distance. Thank you for the beautiful visit that they had with us. Creating memories with Noah and Eliza will always be looked at with a smile on my face.

Thank you for the gift of life of my two uncles who have joined you this year, joining their brother who passed last year. Losing three uncles in two years is a gentle reminder that my own life is precious and short.  Thank you for the memories I have of them.

Thank you for my prayer warriors. Thank you for the gift of very special women who I can always count on to say an extra prayer not only for me, my family and friends. Thank you for always reminding me that I am surrounded my amazing people, despite the distance between us.

Thank you for the gift of technology. Thank you that my family and friends all around the
continue to partake in my life almost immediately and I have the opportunity to be part of theirs.

Thank you for the opportunity of a new beginning. 2013 will see me starting a full time role in a new job. I am very excited with what is ahead. 2013 will also see Eliza starting daycare and my parents actively helping take care of the children.

I pray for your continuous lead.  You know my hearts desires, my worries and faults. Lord, may I always remember to trust in you. May I constantly remember that all that I have, all that I am and all that I am going to be is because of you.

With your help and lead,  Chapter 2013 - bring it on!

With all my love,
Jo 

Christmas corner

To those of you who have been to our home, you will know that our place is fast becoming very "occupied".  Space is a true premium and often times Tim and I  have felt that the walls are caving in, especially with the children's toys and furniture.

Around this time of the year, Tim has always suggested to me about putting up a Christmas tree. I have always found excuses to not bother.  Our first Christmas together in our place,  I was heavily pregnant with Noah. That was in 2009. Christmas 2010 was spent in the UK so no Christmas spirit was needed in our home. 2011, I was once again pregnant. Although, we did manage to put up a microscopic Christmas tree. It was so small that it sat on our window sill.

Once again I was going to forgo filling our home with Christmas decorations. I have always said to Tim that we really do not have the space and that we should just invest in a decent tree when we finally have our house.

However, the spirit of Christmas did not want to evade us.  When I was dropping off some dry cleaning to our local laundromat, Marian, the lady who owns the shop offered a box of Christmas decorations to me. She said keep it or give it to someone else. I immediately took it as I knew that it would at least buy me a couple of hours to keep Noah busy. They have been doing Christmas at daycare for the longest time and I knew that he would be tickled pink to have a rummage through an assortment of decorations.

At the same time, when we were skype-ing with my parents one afternoon, I was reminded that there is a Christmas tree sitting in the cupboard. Mum thought that it was my tree from my days in DC but in fact it was my brother's old Christmas tree. So last Saturday, my parents gave me that tree.

Sunday, Tim was patrolling so I was at home with both children. I decided not to take them out as we were working on Noah's toilet training. We spent the morning putting together our Christmas corner and decorating our very first family Christmas tree.

I have never seen Noah so pleased and so proud.

Christmas is truly a wonderful time of the year, not only for the children but also for someone like me, who has found every excuse to overlook the spirit of Christmas.

Every night, when its dark and the Christmas lights are on, I look at our corner and smile. I never thought that we could have a decent Christmas area amidst the very little space we have.

On that note, a wonderful Christmas Season to everyone. Big love to all.

Rollercoaster Ride

We have all seen ads for fertility companies, for anything pregnancy related, for anything baby related and even toddler related. Most of these ads are created to make us go "awwwww". The innocence of children, skin so soft, their smell so addictive, their tiny finger and toes. Who in their right mind would not want to "buy" what these ads are selling?

If I ever get commissioned to create an ad about children, I think I have my tag line.....

Children? - Get ready for the biggest and fastest rollercoaster ride you will embark on!

The highest will be the biggest highs and the lowest will be the lowest ever you will feel. Some parts will be like a loop-the-loops while other parts are just plain old straight.
 
I actually wanted to write a blog yesterday to share the pride I felt as I knew my little boy was growing up.  N is currently toilet training. We had originally planned to do it over the Christmas holidays but after a successful wee in the toilet on Wednesday afternoon, he decided that undies are the way to go. Hence from Thursday, he was been wearing undies during the day. He has had continuous accidents but we persist. We recognise that his interest in wearing undies is a good thing and that eventually, like most things, it just "clicks". 

Yesterday, my big boy did 2 wees and a poo in the toilet. We were so happy and proud that it erased all feelings of frustration from the accidents.

Add the fact that I took him to get his haircut in the afternoon, which I was dreading as Tim was not going to be with me. However, N surprised the bejezees out of me as for the very first time, there were no tears and no dramas. He listened and followed Ms. Brenda (the baby whisperer of hairdressers) and sat still for the cut and actually seemed to enjoy it.

My heart was full of pride.

Today, my rollercoaster took a big fat dip.

From the moment N woke up, he whinged. Everything was hard. Everything was dramatic. Everything!

Those ads that show children following everything a parent asks them to do - they LIE! Children do not do that. Children want what they want and if they don't get that, they scream. They scream from the top of their lungs. They scream because they know that eventually their screams will drive you insane that you will do anything just to shut them up. I actually had to put N to his room today because I had to show him that I meant what I said. Sigh.

When we were out, N was way too excited to think about going to the toilet. Instead, he had accidents, including a not so pleasant experience that Tim had to endure.

And before we could drive home, the battle continued. Sadly, Tim lost it too.

As if we don't have enough on your hands with N's TTing, we are still battling with E and the bottle. I actually do not blame her whingeing. It must be so confusing to her to have us force her to take formula when the breast is just around the corner, easier and more comforting. However, we continue to persist as I know we are going to pay a higher price if we do not get her used to it before daycare starts.

Today was a hard day.

Today is a day where the biggest marketing soiree than can possibly appeal to parents would be a screaming child, mummy juice (Pepsi Max for me) and lots of potato chips (or Twisties).

Now that's an idea

Nerves

I just got a job offer. I was verbally offered the job last Tuesday, after the second interview aka morning tea with the team. However, I thought it was best to wait for  the contract before counting my chickens. I got my letter this morning.

The nerves have started to set.

I will be going back to work full time. I will be going into a new role 5 days a week! I tried looking for part time work but there is nothing out there. Unless you have been with your company where they will let you go part time, getting part time employment is almost a no go zone. I even knocked on the doors of retailers but nothing. No one was interested in me. Not even Mummy's shop - Aldi!

Anyhow, with going full time, it means that both children will be going to daycare - at least 3 days, but more likely 4. My parents have kindly offered to look after the children when they are not in daycare.

Once again, I am going into unchartered territories. Full time work with 2 children. I know it is doable. Plenty of people do it. I am so blessed that I have a very supportive husband who is extremely hands on with the children. To make it work, we need to be organised. We need to work together. We need to work as a team.

So my prayer warriors, thank you very much for your continuous prayers for me. I am very excited about the role so I think that our prayers have been answered.

Now, please lets pray that God continue to lead us - that Noah continue to thrive being at daycare and that Eliza settles in quickly (and starts taking formula soon!!!), that Tim continues to be patient with me and that neither of us die from exhaustion!!!